The Distance

       As I sit back and ponder on my last relationship, my mind begins to wonder. One of the main stigmas on our relationship (and I’m pretty sure many others everywhere) was “the distance”. All ladies have unfortunately been devastatingly familiarized with it. When the person we are fully invested in suddenly withdraws from you, thus causing a huge vague gap between the two of you, “the distance”.
        My mind now jets back to May of this year. I read an article in Cosmopolitan Magazine (a magazine I’ve never been a fan of) entitled “Your Secret Love Weapon (It’s Called the Rubber-Band Effect)”. This article too was in reference to the all too familiar “distance”. And while this article was surprisingly stimulating (b/c as I stated earlier I’m not a fan of Cosmo so I expected to be completely underwhelmed) it was also slightly alarming. This article strategized “the distance”. As if relationships are to be calculated and logistical rather than dealt with using emotion. I mean there is nothing wrong with being rational, but step-by-step plans to expedite and/or exterminate “the distance” phase in a relationship is kind of much.
      I mean, maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic and not up to date, but is that what our relationships have come too? Women work to entrap our men by being calculated and baiting then through the mastery of methodology  while men hold no accountability what so ever? Shouldn’t two people be responsible for the success of a relationship; not just one? Lack of communication and “the distance” are okay (understood/conventional) as long as one counterpart in the relationship works day and night to convince the other they should stay? And if that’s the case, how should one be confident in the very fundamental value of love when now all love is, is tactic, trickery and methodology? How can a person know someone is actually in love with them when it very well could be they were just coerced by good skill and tactic that someone executed to win them over? How do you know if a person is in the relationship because the actual feeling, or if they’re just whooed by a person doing “all of the right steps” and decide to stay because it’s comfortable?
      We’ve all heard the phrase love is a battlefield. But should it be a game of chess where the most crafty player wins?

There is so much in life God has blessed me with. I’m enjoying life, and abundantly so. Although everything is not perfect, or what I originally projected it to be, I am happy and grateful. I have a passion for life. A glow…an effortless glow -the preciousness of life that I feel beaming on me, warming all around me with a comforting, yet effortless touch.

The Cutest Nail Files EVER!!

I was frequenting Walgreen one day when I noticed these super cute nail files. They're animal print, which makes them awesome!! I prefer these way over traditional metal nail files, which I find typically lead to more breakage.

 One side is fake fur and the other side is the actual nail file, which btw is actually really good.

Then the perfect ending to this story is that they were on sale for 50 cents each!! Talk about a match made in heaven!

Sitting and I'm thinking....

My birthday is on Monday! I'm turning 18, and honestly, I'm not overly excited because I've never been a big birthday person. But I am excited to spend some time with my friends and rack up some great gifts...the only thing is me and my ex are not on speaking terms AT ALL! It kind of hurts my feelings because ideally I feel like we should be together on this day, but I have to be realistic and know that our relationship is down the drain and there is no patching things up. I'll invite him to whatever gathering I do decide to have just out of respect for what we had...but do I expect fireworks?? No.

Victoria Secret Haul/Lipstick Review

So I know I promised this haul soooooo long ago, but I've finally actually found the time to do it. I took a trip to one of my favorite stores, Victoria Secret, in search for the perfect everyday-wear pink Lipstick. As you can see, I ended up getting a bit more than that!         

 I love the packaging! It's nice, simple, and chic!

 The colors (from left to right) are named Wish, Be Mine , and my favorite, V.I.P!

  Wish is a matte lipstick but bc of it's light color suits as the PERFECT everyday pink lipstick for me! (I had been searching for the "perfect pink" for so long! lolz) Be Mine is also a matte pink, but as you can see it's a bit darker. This color is NOT for everybody...I find that it can be quite unflattering if not done in moderation. Then I saved the best for last...!!!!!! V.I.P is the ABSOLUTE PERFECT statement lipstick. It is a mauve-purple luster shade and is the perfect lipstick for nights out on the town. This shade is def. NOT for everyday use!

 Fragrances!!

I love these fragrances! Noir Tease is beyond a doubt my favorite out of the two. It's more of a musty fragrance (if that makes sense...lolz) while, Heavenly Summer is more of a sweet, fun fragrance.

Update:

I had my student orientation for GSU (Georgia State) the other day. It was so fun, I loved it there! I move in on August 18th, and I honestly can't wait. College seems so fun and I'm ready to get out of my parents' house. I'm ready for the change in scenery, meeting new people, and doing new things. So in short, I'm stoked for college!

30 Day Challenge: Day 20

To my pleasure my 30 day challenge has been, the majority of the time, a success. It's almost become second nature to reform my thoughts at the breech of any negativity and I am very happy with the results of my challenge. Although my challenge is going good, it is still a challenge, at times, to remain positive; particularly while dealing with my mother and ex-boyfriend. This process has allowed me to site exactly what triggers my negative thinking and has also enabled me to distance myself from being provoked by the same situations over and over again. I now know that I have to be especially patient while dealing with my mother and ex-boyfriend, and this knowledge allows me to steer away from negative thinking.

So, to say the least, I am pleased with my results thus far. In Joyce Meyer's book that I read last year, she presented a theory  about the power of our thoughts. I like to abbreviate it as T.E.A.B, as it is written on the board in my room as a reminder. The synopsis is simple, but true. Your thoughts lead to your emotions, your emotions lead to your attitude, and your attitude leads to your behavior. In other words, if you begin with negative thinking, then the rest of your life will follow suit by being negative, and when you begin with positive thinking, the rest of your life will follow suit as well, and hence be positive. I have experienced this first hand! I find that since becoming more optimistic, it is now easier to preserve my progress because God blesses me with more to be positive about!

For the remaining 10 days of my challenge I will focus on what I say. There is no filter on my mouth, at all. I don't mean that I use profane or condescending language. But the circuit from my mind to my mouth is a straight shot. There is no discernment there; whatever I think instantaneously leaves my mouth. This process has allowed me to realize this. My impulsive tongue must be tamed, and that is my final step in concluding this process.

Feeling Helpless

As much as I repeatedly reassured myself that I was done with my ex, it seems like I just might be getting back with him. I just can't shake him off, but then again, I don't want to. Idk. Right now, I'm just feeling a bit weak and feeble, and helpless. As much as I want me and my boyfriend to work I just have this gut wrenching feeling that we won't. It's hard though because I love him so much; more than I ever thought I could love somebody (outside of my family).
This morning he opened up to me about what's bothering him in our relationship. Although, I am grateful for this, I now am consumed with an innumerable amount of worries. I want us to work, but stuff is always so complicated. Too complicated. Why can't people just be satisfied with the minimal simplistic qualities of life? Why must we all go and create our own mini soap operas? Okay, I'm done rambling on...I'm through having this pity party!

New hair style

So me and the bf broke up. He inspired a change in my hair. I took out the weave. I like it though. I needed a change; something to make me feel brand new and shiny again! : )

 

"New love is so beautiful, time just makes it ugly."
                             Wale, The War